Evangelion: Double Agenda
by Hunter Noventa
Summary: The story of Eva with one simple change that trickles down into everyone's lives. Current Episode- 03 04, Titles Too big!
1. Episode 00 Translations of Destiny

_Evangelion: Double Agenda Episode 00 - Translations of Destiny_

*~~~NERV Headquarters, Office of Gendo Ikari~~~*

"You are sure about this Gendo?"

"The Marduk Institute does not lie, Fuyutsuki. My son is the Third Child."

"I wasn't talking about that. I meant your plan. Your interpretation."

Gendo shifted slightly "There are two ways this can end. One is SEELE's. One is mine. Whichever is meant to happen, will happen. Regardless of our interference."

The sub-Commander of NERV 'hmmmm'ed "SEELE would not approve of this...hidden agenda."

"That is why they will not know about it. I have made the proper arrangements."

"Of course."

Fuyutsuki gazed at the Tree of Sefirot lit up on the floor of the office. _SEELE would not like it all,_ he mused, _if they knew the man in charge of the Evangelions had read the Dead Sea Scrolls so differently..._

*~~Approximately 3 months ago~~*

Fuyutsuki stepped into the perpetually dark office of Gendo Ikari. "You asked for me sir?"

"Yes, take a look the East wall."

As Fuyutsuki turned, two massive screens lit up. One showed an actual picture of the Dead Sea Scrolls. The next one showed the text of SEELE's translation. The older man turned tot he Commander "You know very well that I've seen these before Commander."

"I realize that, now observe the third screen."

Another screen lit up, featuring text that was similar to SEELE's for the most part, but it got more muddled later on. And the ending was quite different. "Gendo, what is this?"

"A translation of the Scrolls using an older dialect of Aramaic. I completed it several hours ago. Do you realize what this means?"

"If it's correct? It means SEELE will be most upset with you."

"That is why SEELE must not know. We cannot be certain now which prophecy is correct. However, I believe that the first is more likely to occur if no action is taken."

"Then you propose action?"

"Some. We must be cautious, if it appears we are deviating from SEELE's agenda they would be displeased. Yet both must be given the same chance. I can trust you to get to work on it Fuyutsuki?"

"I'll do what I can."

"Good. Dismissed."

*~~~A large city in the Chiba prefecture~~~*

Shinji Ikari checked his mailbox. It was more habit than anything. The money his father provided was sent directly to his guardians. Other than the odd piece of junk he didn't expect much of anything. Today however, he opened it to reveal a curious black envelope, with a red logo where you'd expect the stamp. Half a red leaf with the letters 'NERV' coming out of it. The boy took the letter back inside with him, trying to think of where he had heard that before. _Oh yeah, there was something on the news a couple years back...about an ultra-legal act protecting NERV...what would they want with me?_ He sat, opened and read the letter.

Attention Ikari Shinji,

Your presence has been requested by the UN Special Agency NERV. You are to come to Tokyo-3 as soon as possible. Your travel arrangements are in the enclosed envelope. Failure to comply with this request is a violation of UN Resolution 17846, which can result in your forcible transport to Tokyo-3 and a $5,000 fine.

Your presence was requested by- Ikari Gendo, Commander of NERV

And Seconded by- Fuyutsuki Kozo, Sub-Commander of NERV

The boy's dark eyes read the paper several times. _Father...why would he want to see me? Why is he in command of NERV?_ Attempting to push the memories of his father down, he opened the other envelope, which contained a slip of paper with a time and place, and a rather...interesting photo of a beautiful woman who would be picking him up. The back of it identified her as Captain Katsuragi Misato, Director of NERV Tactical Operations. _So she'll be picking me up..._ he looked at the slip of paper _ TOMORROW? Great...I have to get packing._ Though it wasn't that it entailed much effort, it was the fact he had to do it. And get his guardian to give him a ride to where he was supposed to get picked up. Speaking of whom, his guardian, an older, but not elderly sensei stepped into the small home they had shared for nearly ten years.

"Ikari, are you here?"

"Hai sensei. I got an odd letter today...I have to be in downtown Koriyama by noon tomorrow."

"What for?"

"For some reason NERV wants me to report to Tokyo-3."

"NERV? That UN Special Organization?"

"Hai, my...father...requested my presence."

"Well, are you packed?"

"I was just about to start..."

*~~~Apartment of Misato Katsuragi~~~*

A woman with long purple hair set down a box on a kitchen table and shut the door to her new dwelling. Cracking open a beer from the fridge, she sat down and guzzled hungrily. She would have gladly reached for another had her cell phone decided not to ring. Grudgingly she flipped it open

"Katsuragi...what's up."

The cold voice coming through the speaker made her wince "Captain Katsuragi, you know you are to report to Koriyama tomorrow to transport the Third Child. Correct?"

"Hai, the Sub-Commander relayed the order himself about an hour ago. I'll be there."

"Make every effort to ensure his safety and comfort. We do not know how soon he will be needed."

"Hai, I'll be my usual pleasant self Commander."

"Good. Ikari out."

Misato got herself another beer, but nursed it rather than chugging it. _Why does he want me to get the Third Child? Isn't he the Commander's son? I understand why he can't do it himself, but wouldn't Section 2 be more suited? Ugh, that man is a bigger mystery than the Angels...and he and the Sub-Commander seem rather agitated. They must know something we don't..._

*~~~Train exiting the Geofront~~~*

Gendo moved his black rook, taking a white knight from his sub-commander. "Check, Fuyutsuki."

A white bishop slid to stop the offending rook. "Averted, Ikari. Tell me, why did you assign the Third Child's transport to Katsuragi?"

Gendo's black pawn stepped up a space, where it threatened the other white knight "I understand how the Captain thinks. She will play into my agenda nicely."

The horse retreated "And what about SEELE's?"

"You worry about them too much Fuyutsuki. I know their spies." The black queen slid into position. "Checkmate."

Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow. Examining the board, "Well played Commander. Just like everything you do."

*~~~UN Cruiser _Vargas_, East Pacific Ocean~~~*

The command crew watched silently out the view port as the massive crossflare burned away at the sea. The ship's captain ordered for monitoring and course extrapolation of the object the had detected beneath the sea, the same object was now moving, and anything that was too close had been incinerated.

"Captain, course extrapolation complete. It seems to be walking towards Japan, and it's current course will take it directly through Koriyama to Tokyo-3."

The Captain nodded and spoke in a thick Russian accent "Inform the UN Security Council. Send them all relevant data and make time extrapolations."

"Yes sir."

His beard bristling, the Captain looked out at another crossflare, and what he could swear were chunks of whale blubber flying through the air. _God Help us all..._

"Data sent sir, ETA to inland Koriyama, 16 hours, approximately 12:25 Japanese Time."

*~~~EPISODE COMPLETE~~~*

No exp or Gil this story, I'm trying to be a little more serious. The purpose of this whole "Episode" was to set up a few things that happened just before the series started. Of course, next chapter will be Episode 01, same as the series.


	2. Episode 01 Angel Attack!

_Evangelion: Double Agenda Episode 01- Angel Attack!_

*~~~Coastal Japan, Kamayira JC leading to Koriyama~~~*

More then a hundred UN tanks lined the coast. They were on high alert after the transmission from the _Vargas_ indicating an unidentified object approaching the coast. Apparently a storm had slowed it down, as the government had waited until 12:30 to declare a state of emergency. A calm, recorded voice calmly directed everyone to proceed calmly to the nearest shelter and remain calm. One Shinji Ikari, who happened to be attempting to use a payphone, was being search for by one Misato Katsuragi, who drove calmly through the abandoned streets of the coastal metropolis. The young boy dug in his bag for the picture he had been sent after he hung up the useless phone.

"This is strange. I'm supposed to meet her here...what's with this state of emergency anyway? Might as well go to the shelter. If this Katsuragi knows what she's doing she'll look there."

Birds chirped and scattered, and Shinji did a double take. He could swear he saw a pale girl in a school uniform with blue hair. Yet she had vanished when he looked back. An explosion rumbled through the air and the boy covered his ears. From behind a hill he could see several state-of-the-art UN VTOLS retreating from...a giant monster of some kind. A lanky green and white beast with a massive torso centered around a brilliant red globe. A pair of missiles streaked straight over his head at the beast and exploded with no effect. The beast reached up and shot a spike of red-white energy through one of the VTOLs. The creature leaped up into the air and landed on the wreckage of its previous victim, which had come to rest in front of Shinji. A blue sports car pulled in front of him, its door opened and a voluptuous young woman pulled him in and drove off towards Tokyo-3.

"Sorry to keep you waiting!"

*~~~NERV Command Center~~~*

An image of the lanky beast flickered onto the massive screen at NERV Headquarters. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki spoke "15 years. Does this match your agenda? The Third Child..."

"Is in the hands of the Captain." Gendo pointed to a small screen that reported what he had said.

*~~~Car of Misato Katsuragi~~~*

Shinji buckled up as the sports car raced as far away from the Angel as possible. Once he recollected the thoughts that had been so effectively scattered by the explosion, the car was stopped and Misato was already halfway out of it, gazing at the Angel through a pair of binoculars. He wondered why she needed them, after all, he could see the explosions around the creature well enough with the naked eye. It marched under a behind a hill, and the air units that had been pointlessly pounding it retreated.

The Captain gasped "An N2 mine!" and threw herself on top of the boy moments before the shockwave bowled the car over. The light and heat faded, and the pair crawled out of the car.

"Are you all right, Ikari-san?"

"I think so Katsuragi-san..."

"All right, let's get this car turned over...on the count of three...one...two...three!"

The now dilapidated car fell onto its wheels, and the Captain smiled "Thanks for the help!"

He stammered a bit "H...hai, Katsuragi-san."

"Please, call me Misato. And it's nice to meet you, Ikari Shinji."

"Hai, and...you can call me Shinji."

*~~~NERV Command Center~~~*

The UN Generals sputtered wildly in their inability to destroy the Angel. Fuyutsuki received a transferred call, and reported to the commander that Captain Katsuragi was en route with the Third Child.

The vehicle in question was being held together by duct tape and prayers as it approached the car train. Shinji interrupted his driver's internal grumblings about her car and clothes by asking about the batteries and parts they had 'borrowed'.

"Misato-san, is it all right that we borrow all this?"

"Of course, I've been given a good deal of authority, even if it doesn't look like it. You heard me on the phone, your safety is my priority."

"I see."

A small groan escaped the Captain's throat "Ooh, and your picture looked so cute, I thought you'd be more interesting."

A raise of an eyebrow and a tinge of blush touched the young Ikari's face "Aren't you a bit old to be saying such things to a child, Misato-san?"

"Sorry, sorry, it's my nature."

The car finally reached the entrance Misato had asked for, and Shinji spoke again, after several minutes of silence. "This is NERV right? My father works for this place?"

Misato waggled a finger "Your father runs this place, he's the commander of this, the primary branch. He's got a lot of power."

"Do you know why he'd want to see me?"

"I really don't know. NERV is a very secretive organization. Are you anxious to see him?"

"I'm...not exactly looking forward to it." Memories of his father leaving flashed in his mind, steeling his expression.

"Oh right, I have your ID Card Shinji. I was told to give it to you."

He took it and held it like it might bite him "ID Card? Special Pilot? What's this all mean Misato-san."

She sighed "You'll see soon enough."

The train emerged into the Geofront, and Shinji jumped at the window in awe "Is that...a Geo-Front?"

"Oh you've heard of it? This is the fortress that contains our headquarters, hopefully it can hold against that Angel."

"Angel? You meant hat monster? It's coming here?"

"That's what I heard on the phone..."

*~~~NERV Headquarters, Conveyor Maze~~~*

"Misato-san, are we lost?"

"Be quiet, I'm trying to think!"

"We've already been here Misato-san."

"Shinji, don't make me angry."

After several minutes of wandering, they entered an elevator, and a few floors later, and blond woman in a lab coat and a swimsuit stepped in. "Lost again Captain?"

Misato jumped "Ritsuko!"

"We're short of time and you're getting lost. Is he the one?"

"Oh right, this is Ikari Shinji, the Third Child. He's slightly more likable than his father."

"Hmmm, I see. Nice to meet you, Ikari Shinji. I'm Akagi Ritsuko, head of Project E. You can call me Ritsuko."

"Nice to meet you too. Please call me Shinji."

Ritsuko inserted a key into the elevator panel and it started moving again. "I believe you were looking for the seventh cage, Misato?"

"What? I was...I know that he's the third Child...but can we really?"

"We have no choice. The First is in no condition to fight, and we don't even know if she can activate Unit-01."

Shinji was absorbed into the NERV Conduct Manual he had pried out of Misato when he heard this "Unit-01? First Child? You mean...my father doesn't really need me?"

"Oh he needs you Shinji. The First Child doesn't stand a chance in her condition."

"Who is the First Child?"

"Ayanami Rei, you'll get a chance to meet her later, assuming any of us survive this."

After effectively neutralizing any threat of further conversation, the three of them let the car grind its way to the seventh cage. It opened up onto another car, which took them up wards, past what looked like a tank of fruit juice.

"Ritsuko, is there even any chance of Unit-01 working?"

"It's about 0.0000000001% I wish we hadn't called it the 09-System now."

They got off the car into a dark room, and it lit up for Shinji to face the purple visage of Evangelion Unit-01. Shinji jumped "A giant robot?"

A cold voice, the kind that had perfectly chosen every word it carried was behind him. "Shinji."

The three of them turned to face one Gendo Ikari, super bastard. He spoke again "Been a long time, hasn't it Shinji?"

The floor of the catwalk suddenly became very interesting to the boy. Gendo spoke again "We will move out."

"How, Unit-00 is still frozen! You don't mean to use Unit-01?"

Ritsuko addressed the Captain. " It can work. Unit-00 is unusable as you said. Shinji will pilot it."

"What? He hasn't had any training! Rei took months just to get Unit-00 to activate, and you very well know how that went!"

"I WON'T DO IT!"

Both of them turned to Shinji, who started to spout impotent hellfire at super bastard Ikari. Gendo simply ordered for Rei to be brought out. Shinji screamed when he realized that "So you don't even need me? Why the hell did you bring me here you bastard? Why couldn't I just stay home?"

Gendo grunted "You are here because you are needed. Because others can't."

"Then why are ordering your other pilot? If you need me why are ordering her up here? I may as well leave!"

Misato grabbed his shoulder "So you'll run Shinji? You can't hide from that thing marching its way here. If it's not stopped EVERYONE dies."

"It doesn't matter! This Rei person he asked for, sounds like she can do it, so I'm not needed!"

To punctuate his words, medical techs rolled a gurney out, holding a young girl. Shinji saw her and froze. _What the fuck? Is that...the same girl I saw in Koriyama?_ He turned to his father "Are you insane? She can't do anything! She can barely breathe straight!"

"So you're saying you..." Gendo's words were stopped as the compound shook violently. The angel's crossflares had found them. Shinji and Rei cried out and were thrown to the floor, and part of the ceiling fell, as it was about to hit Shinji, a massive purple arm rose from the lake of coolant and blocked the debris. While Misato and Ritsuko both pondered the implications of the Evangelion's sudden movement, Shinji ran to the injured girl lying on the ground. He held her up and her body shivered. He looked to the room his father stood in.

_Don't run away. Don't run away. Don't run away. Don't run away. Don't run away. Don't run away. Don't run away. Don't run away. _

"I'll pilot it."

*~~~Several minutes later~~~*

Shinji sat in the entry plug, A-10 connectors in his hair, a determined look covering his face. It started to fill with an orange liquid. And Ritsuko cut off his worries.

"You won't drown, the LCL will let you breath once your lungs fill with it. Just relax."

His world shifted through colors and lights as intercoms informed him of things like A-10 nerve connections and what not. After a moment he could see the outside world, and heard something about a 41.3% synchronization. Misato ordered the launch, and launch it did. He could _feel_ most of the lock bolts releasing, it was rather weird. The Unit was moved to the catapult, and launched upward, if the LCL hadn't made him slightly ill, this definitely did. He shot up to the street to face the monster he had seen before. Which he had been told was the Third Angel, Sachiel. _Third Angel? Where were the first two? _He didn't have time to wonder further as the last binding was released, Evangelion Unit-01 was ready for battle.

*~~~End of Episode 01~~~*

Hey, that was where the real Episode 1 ended. That's where mine ends. I realize I left stuff out, added a few things, changed some lines...but if you wanted the same dialogue you'd go read the script now wouldn't you? I realize the "Second Agenda" of Gendo's isn't really showing up yet, and it won't just yet. Anyway...that's all for that.

**_OMAKE TIME!_**

Credit for tonight's Omake Idea goes out to Chewy.

*~~~Omake 01 START!~~~*

*~~Gendo's Office, sometime after the defeat of Israfel~~*

Gendo paced and ranted around his office " What are those idiots at SEELE doing? They're trying to start their own Third impact already!"

"Commander?"

"Didn't they read that part of the scrolls? Not only is it the wrong time, but the wrong way! FOOLS!"

Fuyutsuki cocked his head to the side "What part of the scrolls?"

Gendo groaned and hit a button on his desk. Text lit up the screen and Fuyutsuki gasped "All the women will turn into Catgirls?"

*~~Meanwhile, in Misato's Apartment~~*

Shinji was cooking breakfast when he heard Asuka scream out in surprise and...agony from the bathroom. Considering her current location and likely state of dress, he wasn't about to investigate. Then he heard a similar scream from Misato. Finally he heard very soft footsteps as they walked into the kitchen. He turned to say good morning but it came out as

"KAIWAI!"

Misato and Asuka had cat ears. And tails. And eyes. And no human ears. And a synchronized growl at his outburst.

"I mean ah...good morning...ahhhhh...I...like the ears...errrrr..."

Misato laughed, and held a hand that was slowly changing into a paw up to her face. Asuka's ears twitched and she wrinkled her nose. Then she jumped over the table at Shinji and started licking his face. And his neck, And his chest, after clawing open his shirt. Breakfast had started to burn...but he didn't really care at that point, because Misato had joined in...

*~~~Omake 01 END!~~~*

Yes, a botched Third Impact that somehow turned every female into a catgirl. Thank you chewy.

And now, MY idea, which I stole from the music video, "The Chibi Things that Kill", which was made by Indifferent productions. Obtain it now fools!

*~~~Omake 01.2 START!~~~*

Shinji looked up from the phone booth to where birds were squawking. He saw a small yellow rat that tilted its head and cried out "Pika!" before scrambling off. Shinji shook his head and turned away to see the Third Angel, writhing in pain from electric shock, and the small yellow rat on a nearby building supplying the shock.

"I really need to lay off the LSD..."

*~~~Omake 01.2 END!~~~*

That's all for now, tune in next time for Evangelion: Double Agenda Episode 02- Unfamiliar Ceiling


	3. Episode 02 Unfamiliar Ceilings

I realized I had no disclaimer anywhere on this thing. Taking no chances, none of this actually belongs to me. It belongs to Gainax Studios and a few other people. I'm just running with it.

Now with that out of the way…

*UPDATE*- Sorry about the odd ending... apparently when I saved the attachment from Itchy it didn't catch it al, despite the whole chapter being there. But now it's fixed.

_Evangelion Double Agenda Episode 02- Unfamiliar Ceilings_

_-AND-_

_Evangelion Double Agenda Episode 02.5- A day off_

_-PLUS-_

_Evangelion Double Agenda Omake 02_

Shinji sat in the entry plug, A-10 connectors in his hair, a determined look covering his face. It started to fill with an orange liquid. And Ritsuko cut off his worries.  
  
"You won't drown, the LCL will let you breath once your lungs fill with it. Just relax."  
  
His world shifted through colors and lights as intercoms informed him of things like A-10 nerve connections and what not. After a moment he could see the outside world, and heard something about a 41.3% synchronization. Misato ordered the launch, and launch it did. He could feel most of the lock bolts releasing, it was rather weird. The Unit was moved to the catapult, and launched upward, if the LCL hadn't made him slightly ill, this definitely did. He shot up to the street to face the monster he had seen before. Which he had been told was the Third Angel, Sachiel. Third Angel? Where were the first two? He didn't have time to wonder further as the last binding was released, Evangelion Unit-01 was ready for battle.

Ritsuko's voice entered the cockpit "Just think about walking now Shinji."

_Walk…_ and the behemoth lifted its foot, and took a step. The Third Child faintly gasps of astonishment over the radio.

_Walk…_ Unit-01 tried another step...and stumbled to fall flat on the ground. Shinji clutched his face in pain. _Why does it hurt me?_ And then Misato screeched over the radio.

"Shinji! Dodge!"

But she was too late, the Angel picked up the Evangelion by the head, and proceeded to break its forearm, causing Shinji to scream out. "Why does it hurt me?" Misato tried to explain quickly that it wasn't his arm, but Sachiel had shifted its hand and started to skull-fuck Unit-01 with its massive energy spike. Now if Shinji could have thought clearly, the Eva would have gotten away, but considering that the pain was something no human was ever meant to endure, he could only wail in agony and the armor cracked and split until the spike drove right through the Eva's head, driving it back against a building, where it slumped and spurted blood from both sides. Had Shinji not passed out from the pain, he would have wondered why it was bleeding.

Everyone in the control room was silent for half a second before reports flooded in.

"Disconnect signal sent… denied!"

"No vital signs from pilot!"

"Unit-01 is silent!"

"Misato!"

The Captain took a deep breath "This operation is a failure, we'll have to try something else. Recover the Eva! Prioritize the life of the pilot!"

Maya turned "No good! The eject signal is being refused!"

Then the Eva restarted despite the cries of amazement and impossibility from the control center. Its purple jaws opened and let out mighty roar. Crouching into a runner's start position briefly, it ran and leapt at the Angel flipping in the air, be fore colliding with its AT Field.

"Unit-01 is berserk!"

Ritsuko gasped "Look! An AT Field!"

It was Maya's turn to gasp "Unit-01 is expanding it's own AT Field! I'd doing something to the Angel's!"

"It's breaking through… it's through!"

"Progressive knife activated!"

The Eva pulled the glowing blade from its shoulder compartment and shoved it at the angel's core, but Sachiel was a bit faster and knocked the blade out of the Eva's hand. It took advantage of this to grab the creature's arms and snap them, showered the street below in purple ichor, it delivered a roundhouse kick to the beast's head and sent it flying. And again the Eva leapt, and grabbed the bony protrusions next to the enemy's core and snapped them off. Pounding on the core with its own bone. The Angel used it's only option, it loosened it's internal AT Field and wrapped itself around the Eva, and exploded.

*~~~NERV Hospital, Cranial Wing~~~*

Shinji woke up. _An unfamiliar ceiling…_ The last thing he remembered was… the Angel… ramming the spike into his… the Eva's… head. "How did I live?"

"I think you ought to ask the Captain about that. Good to see that you woke up, Mister Ikari."

He turned towards the female voice, to see a nurse wheeling in some food. "The Captain? You mean Misato-san?"

"Yeah, she's checked up on you a couple of times. Looks like you really worried her."

"Oh, I see."

"Anyway, here's your food. Doctor Akagi will be by in a little bit to ask you some questions."

"Thank you miss…?"

"Just call me Sayoko."

"Thank you, Sayoko-san."

She left as Shinji started to nibble at the overly processed meal. He was maybe half done with Ritsuko walked in "Not very hungry?"

"It's just not very good, Doctor Akagi."

"Well be seeing a lot of each other as long as you pilot the Eva Shinji, I don't mind if you use my name."

"O…okay Ritsuko. The nurse said you had some questions…"

"Yes, first of all, how are you feeling. Physically and mentally."

"I've got something of a headache, physically. But…I feel okay otherwise. Just an unfamiliar ceiling."

"Huh?"

"I…never liked lying in bed where I didn't recognize the ceiling. It makes me uneasy."

"I see what you mean. Well that's relatively normal. The tests we did while you were out show no abnormalities otherwise, so once the Captain picks you up you're free to go. And you're free to walk around now, just stay in this wing."

"Thank you Ritsuko. I hope I wasn't too much trouble."

She bowed slightly as she left "Not at all Shinji. I'm sure Misato will have something for that headache of yours. Take care."

Shinji stretched a little in bed before trying out his legs again. Since they seemed to work fine, he walked tot he hall and stared out the window. A group of orderlies came by, wheeling the girl he had seen before getting into the Eva, the First Child. He watched them wheel her away. _I hope she'll be okay… _He asked a nurse where he could take a seat, and was directed to the waiting area. She also told him to stop by the laundry on the way to get his clean clothes.

At the entrance to the Cranial Nerve wing, Ritsuko stopped a certain purple-haired woman.

"Shinji has woken up."

"How is he?"

"He said he had a headache, and felt uneasy in someplace unfamiliar, but that's about it. As expected he made no mention of the battle, I think he doesn't remember."

"Not surprising, he suffered the physical equivalent of a concussion."

"If his synch ratio had been much higher…"

"What do you mean?"

"The synch rate affects how well the Eva responds to the pilot, but it also effects how much damage the pilot feels. If it had been any higher than say… 60% Shinji would be in a coma. 70% and he'd have severe brain damage."

"Wow, I guess we're pretty lucky then."

"Something like that. He's waiting for you to pick him up…or so I told him. You're not going to let him live alone are you."

She shook her head "I understand him not wanting to live with his father. But I can't abide someone his age living alone like that. What, you think I'm going to put the moves on him or something?"

Ritsuko nearly spat "You had damn well better not! You're nearly twice his age Misato!"

Ritsuko continued to rant and fume, and they had been closing in on the waiting room all this time, and Shinji, who had developed an odd feeling in his arm and was staring at it, heard everything from the mention of 'pretty lucky then.' The two women walked in and saw him staring at his arm. Misato stepped up to him.

"Is it going to do a trick, Shinji-kun?"

He snapped his head up "Uhh…I don't think so. It just kind of felt like it had fallen asleep, but hadn't. It was kind of weird."

"Don't worry about it. You ready to go to your new home?"

"With you, Misato-san?"

She blushed a little "Oh, you heard that?"

"I heard everything from 'pretty lucky'. I don't mind it. I suppose it'll be better than living alone." he smirked a little, this was a good one "But if you try to seduce me I'll have to call the commander."

Her blush deepened and she snarled a little while Ritsuko laughed and winked "I'll leave you lovebirds alone, I have to check up on Ayanami." and she left.

*~~~Streets of Tokyo-3~~~*

Misato had drug Shinji to her now half-fixed car in silence. They rode the elevator out of the Geofront in silence. It wasn't until the third stoplight they hit that Shinji spoke up.

"Misato-san, what happened? How did I make it out of there? The last thing I remember was that...thing bashing me in the head with that glowing spike…"

Misato took a deep breath, and tried to keep her voice even, but enough emotion for even Shinji to pick up on cracked through. "The Angel…broke through the Eva's head armor, and sent it sprawling backwards into a building. It lost all power and we lost track of your vital signs, most of us thought you were dead…but then the Eva reactivated."

"But…I had to have been unconscious!"

"You were, or you were once we got you out of there. The Eva went berserk and smashed the hell out of that Angel…I really don't want to go into the details."

"I understand Misato-san, I guess I should be glad to be alive."

"I am too. I was happy to hear from the rescue crew that you were alive, ah, we're here!"

They had pulled up in front of a modest apartment building, Misato directed Shinji to get the bags out of the back of the car and bring them up. He carried the groceries she had grabbed on the way to picking him up behind his new guardian, and almost stumbled when he caught himself checking out her rear end. She opened the door and stepped in.

"Don't mind the mess, Shinji, just put that stuff on the table."

"I'm…sorry to intrude like this Misato-san."

"Shinji, it's not like you're making things inconvenient for me. I'm happy to have you here. This is your home too now. And stop calling me 'Misato-san', it's just plain Misato!"

After he put away the food, they sat down to feast of instant food. Misato began beer ingestion technique delta, much to the wide-eyed horror of her new roommate.

"Aren't you hungry Shinji-kun?"

"I'm not really used to meals like this is all…"

She stood up and leaned over the table, he was lucky his eyes stayed focused on his face, or the fantastic view her loose shirt offered would have sent him back to the hospital for a blood transfusion.

"Is my food not good enough for you?"

"N…no…not at all…"

She smiled "Good…isn't it nice to eat a meal with someone else?"

"I…it is"

She sat back down "Then let's chow down!"

*~~~Shinji's Lovely Suite~~~*

After eating and taking Misato's suggestion of having a nice hot bath, Shinji was laying on his futon. Shirt, boxers and SDAT. _Another unfamiliar ceiling…but it seems friendlier than the last one._ The player clicked from track 25 to track 26. _Misato...she's a good person. I don't think I'm here just for my benefit though…I think taking care of me comforts her somehow too…_ A scene flashed in his mind. From last night's battle. He shuddered and tried to will it away, but it and others kept coming until he just curled up on his side. Wanting to sleep to escape the bombardment, but not wanting to because of the nightmares that would come. He heard Misato's voice, but ignored it until the door slid open.  
  
"Shinji-kun…a lot of people are very proud of you for even getting in that Evangelion. I am too. I hope you can see that. Good-night Shinji-kun, sleep well."  
  
Her words shocked him. Proud of me? For getting knocked out by a giant monster? She said it was for even getting in…are people afraid of the Eva? Should I have been more afraid? Why did I get in it? Was it for my father? No…it was because of that girl, Ayanami. I couldn't let that…bastard put her in there. I'll bet he knew that. He was manipulating me, he's probably manipulating all of us….but why can't I hate him?  
  
*~ Episode 02 END | Episode 02.5- A day off. START ~*  
  
"Wake up Shinji-kun! It's a beautiful Sunday!"  
  
The Third Child groaned. Misato called for him again. He sort of rolled out of bed, and didn't even change before plodding to the kitchen, where his guardian had cracked open a beer. He searched around for a coffeepot.  
  
"No coffee?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"No coffeemaker?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
He slumped in the chair and buried his head in his arms "ugh…are you having beer?"  
  
"Only way to start the day, Shinji-kun!"  
  
He groaned "It's Sunday right? Do I have to go to school tomorrow."  
  
She shook her head "mmm no, not tomorrow. Not until you've gotten up to speed on a few things down at NERV…that is, assuming you'll pilot it again?"  
  
The boy's head shifted up slightly "I'm not even sure why I got in it in the first place…"  
  
"Does that really matter? You just have to find a reason to keep getting in it, right?"  
  
"I guess so…but I'm really uncomfortable with what my father did…"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"The way he brought out Ayanami…I think he knew that I would get in if I saw he was still willing to use someone in her state. He was playing off my humanity to get me in that thing."  
  
"I'll let you in on a little secret Shinji, none of us like your father very much. I can't believe he was willing to do that either."  
  
"Then…it's not just me?"  
  
"Nope. And you shouldn't feel bad about it either. So what if he was playing on your humanity? The fact that you acted on it makes you better than him!"  
  
He sat a bit, and smiled "Yeah…I guess you're right. Ummm, Misato, what do you know about Ayanami?"  
  
"There's almost nothing to know about her. She barely talks, and follows the Commander's orders without question. It's kind of disturbing sometimes. Why do you ask?"  
  
"No reason, really."  
  
She grinned "Uh-huh, riiiight. Does Shinji-kun think that Ayanami is cute? Hmmm? I saw you run to hold her in the cage."  
  
He stuck out his tongue "I was a bit more concerned about the giant monster attacking us from above to really notice if the girl I was trying to help was cute or not."  
  
"Oh you're no fun Shinji!"  
  
He grinned, remembering last night "Though I did see someone who had a nice butt yesterday…"  
  
She raised an eyebrow "Oh? One of the nurses?"  
  
"No…she ordered me to carry some bags…and got me to do most of the chores…"  
  
"SHINJI!"  
  
He laughed at her "It's only fair Misato!"  
  
"Ohhhh… I'll get you for that! This is war!"  
  
"Just keep those bazookas aimed somewhere else!"  
  
"My god! You DO have a sense of humor!"  
  
He threw his hands up and sighed "I…wasn't at my best yesterday."  
  
"I understand, Shinji…sorry."  
  
"Don't apologize, it was…good to laugh. I haven't done that often enough at all."  
  
She smirked "Glad I could help!"  
  
"So what is the plan for today?"  
  
"Well, I have to show you around NERV. You'll get the full treatment on entries, power sockets, weapons and what not from Ritsuko, assuming you want to pilot of course. And then we'll have to pick up stuff so you can go to school, this the only day off for either of us this week, it's going to be a little rough."  
  
"I see…"  
  
"You might be able to get into school early, depending on how fast you pick up the necessary stuff."  
  
*~~~Tokyo-3 Outlook~~~*  
  
Shinji slumped down on the ground, staring at the sunset. "I can't believe how long that took. My legs are going to fall off!"  
  
Misato sat beside him "I'm sorry about that Shinji. If Ritsuko hadn't accosted us we could been in and out in an hour."  
  
"Don't worry too much Misato. I'd have to learn most of that eventually. And it was nice of her to introduce me to all the techs."  
  
The Captain checked her watch "Ugh, and I have to go back and work for another couple hours. I just wanted to show you something…any second now."  
  
She pointed to the city. Her watch beeped and the massive hatched on the surface of the city ground open. Massive underground gears ground and the skyscrapers of Tokyo-3 slowly rose into the sky. Shinji watched in awe as Misato smiled on.  
  
"Wow! Misato, this is so cool…"  
  
"Yeah, neat isn't it? That's why this city is a fortress, the buildings all retract into the Geofront. You saved this city last night Shinji…"  
  
"I know Misato…but maybe it'll mean more…after I live here for a while."  
  
"So you're going to stay? You're going to pilot Eva?"  
  
"I'll try…I still don't have a real reason…but that doesn't mean I won't find one."  
  
The Captain sidled up and hugged the boy from behind "Good. If there's anything you need…I'll see what I can do."  
  
"Thanks Misato."  
  
*~~~Katsuragi/Ikari Residence~~~*  
  
Misato dropped Shinji off before she headed back to NERV. He started unpacking the few things he had. A box of clothes, and a much smaller box of odds and ends like SDAT tapes and old mangas. He smirked to himself and started humming a song as he arranged the mangas, all the ones of the only series he liked, Ah My Goddess, on the shelf. IT was when he realized that he was humming 'Legendary Beast' from FF8 that he started digging through the tapes, looking for something a bit more upbeat. Then he stumbled upon a tape labeled 'Loud'. Smirking, he hooked up a cord to Misato's stereo in the living room a moment later, and pulled out the NERV manual that Ritsuko gave him to study and hit play. He buried himself in the manual as Powerman 5000 poured into the apartment.  
  
A bit over an hour later, a very tired Misato opened the door. Before she could announce her presence, she was assaulted aurally as some extremely loud rock-type music was playing. She was able to identify it as 'Into the Storm' and proceeded to march into the living room to turn it down, and she found Shinji 'rocking out' as he read the NERV manual. At least he's having a good time. As she turned it down, he looked up at her.  
  
"Oh, Misato. I didn't hear you come in."  
  
"Obviously, how are your eardrums doing?"  
  
He glared "Funny."  
  
"I don't mind…I'm just glad I didn't come in to hear something like Rammstein."  
  
"Actually, that was on just before you got here."  
  
"Really? I never thought you would listen to stuff like that."  
  
"Only when I'm in a good mood."  
  
"So you're in a good mood?"  
  
"Obviously. I can't really explain it…"  
  
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Just go with it."  
  
"You're right. Hey, I'm pretty much through with this thing…I read it three times, I kind of want to go to school."  
  
She chuckled "Well, after a bit of Eva training we should get you into school by the end of the week I think."  
  
He smiled "That sounds good…"  
  
A short instant meal later Shinji was in bed as Misato watched some TV. I think…I could like it here. I wonder…what the others at school would think if I told them I was the pilot of Eva…guess I just won't mention it unless it comes up…  
  
*~~~Gendo Ikari's Office~~~*  
  
"Rei."  
  
The young girl looked up, both crimson eyes fully functional. "Yes Commander?"  
  
"You will be returning to school soon, correct?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"My…son will also be attending soon."  
  
"What does this have to do with me?"  
  
"I would like for you to attempt to be friendly with him."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"For our second purpose…I trust you understand."  
  
"I will try, but I do not completely comprehend your orders."  
  
"Do not worry, you must discover for yourself."  
  
"Yes Commander."  
  
*~~~END Episode 2.5~~~*  
  
That's it, everyone R+R please.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*~~~Double Agenda Omake 02~~~*  
  
The director shouted, "Lights, camera action!"  
  
Ritsuko opened up the communication line to Unit-01. "Okay Shinji, just concentrate on walking now."  
  
"I don't like gears or fighting!"  
  
The technicians looked at each other, then to the face of an eighteen year old boy with a long pony tail that appeared on the screen.  
  
"If only they hadn't…"  
  
"That isn't Shinji!"  
  
Another transmission was detected, and man with glasses and a black braided pony tail appears. "Fei, you must not fight here!"  
  
"…"  
  
"Fei listen to me! You're on the wrong set!"  
  
On the streets of Tokyo-3, Sachiel was regarding the black robot with curiosity. It shrugged and grabbed it by the head, pounding its face in with the energy spike. The pilot of the black robot screamed...and then started laughing maniacally. His machine's armor split at the seams and let out a searing light that vaporized the Angel, and then was followed by a massive explosion that took out more than 1/3 of Tokyo-3.  
  
The director shouted "CUT! Citan, Fei what the hell are you doing here? The Xenogears set is two warehouses down!"  
  
Ctian's face appeared on the screen "I am sorry. Fei was snorting powdered pills again. I'll drag him off."  
  
*~~~END Omake 02~~~* 


	4. Episodes 03 04, Titles too big

Sorry this all took so long, been busy with school and stuffs. Anyway, we the first major plot deviation today! YAYNESS!

_Evangelion Double Agenda Episode 03: Schoolyard Showdowns_

_Evangelion Double Agenda Episode 04: Shocking, positively shocking._

*~~~Classroom 2-A. Tokyo-3 High School~~~*

_Why do I feel like…I'm being watched…_

Shinji tried to shrink into his seat even more. Unfortunately, it didn't have quite the swallowing capacity the seat of the entry plug he'd been spending the better part of a week and a half in did. He had given up feigning interest in the sensei's lectures after the first day. All he ever did was drone on and on about Second Impact. As if they hadn't heard enough about it in grade school. The urge to yawn boiled up in his jaw muscles, but he held it down. _Don't want to attract attention..._

Are you the pilot of the robot? Y/N?

He blinked a few days. The words were on his screen but it was like his brain was working at the speed of digestion. Shinji looked around slowly, and saw a girl in the back of the class smiling and waving meekly.

Well? Are you?

Shinji typed YES

"Whaaaa?"

Shinji managed to shrink some more. _Big mistake..._ Everyone bombarded him with questions. What's it called? What's it like inside? 

"What are its ultra special super attacks?"

That one he could answer "Well...some kind of vibrating knife...and some weird ultrasonic field or something..."

Murmurs of awe and wonder spread through the class. But they missed two students. One was Toji Suzuhara, whose sister had been severely injured in the first battle of Tokyo-3. The other was Kensuke Aida, who was furiously typing every detail he gleaned from the new kid...he knew he might not be able to talk after class...

*~~~Tokyo-3 High School, outside, after class~~~*

*WHAP*

The sound of a fist introducing itself to a face echoed through the small alley behind the gym. The Third Child was thrown to the ground. The larger boy in the black tracksuit cracked his knuckles. The smaller boy with the glasses smiled in apology.

"Gomen, his sister was hurt in that incident the other day.

"Quiet Kensuke! I don't know who you are. But I just had to hit you. I wouldn't be satisfied after what happened."

Shinji rubbed his jaw "I...didn't want to...and I still don't want to..."

Toji turned back and pulled Shinji up by the collar "What the hell?"

Shinji just stared at the ground, and let Toji throw him back down. Minutes later he looked up to see the bandaged form of Rei. She told him there was an emergency call, and he made his way to headquarters as the sirens sounded.

*~~~Shelter 332 Bathroom~~~*

"You know you have to see it Toji."

"I'm not a military freak like you. I don't want to see that robot."

"You may not want to see the robot, but I know you want to see him pilot it."

"...meh"

"I'm not stupid Toji...your sister yelled at you didn't she?"

"Yeah...she couldn't believe I was mad at the pilot...after all, he did his best, and he saved all our lives...that's what she said."

"Then it's settled. We're going to go see him in action, right?"

"Fine, fine..."

The two teens snuck up to the shelter exit, Toji's face carved in stone, Kensuke's hidden behind his camera.

*~~~Downtown Tokyo-3~~~*

Shinji sat in the entry plug, as his Eva sat ready on the catapult. Misato's voice crackled at him.

Shinji, the door is going to open in a minute. Is your rifle ready?

"Hai, Misato."

Okay, the Angel is basically around the corner to your right. You know what to do.

He mumbled and nodded "Target the center...pull the switch."

Okay Shinji, GO!

The door to the elevator slid down and Shinji whipped the Eva around it, unloading piles of hot lead into the purple slithering Angel. From the hillside Kensuke cheered while Toji just watched.

Shinji you baka! You're hiding it with the smoke!

The rifle clicked to empty, and Shinji froze. _Dammit, I can't see! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!_ The twin energy whips lashed out from the cloud, and Unit-01 barely had time to move enough to just let its rifle get shattered. And he fell to the ground, paralyzed with panic.

Toji spat "That's it?"

Kensuke "Maybe you shouldn't have punched him so hard..."

"Shut up."

The Fourth Angel advanced on the fallen Unit-01. Shinji somehow managed to jump out of its path.

Shinji, I'm sending you another rifle! Grab it!

The weapon locker opened, revealing another pallet rifle. Shinji went for it, but was grabbed by the Angel and hurled at the hill Kensuke and Toji were on.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

The Eva crashed into them, narrowly avoiding crushing the two of them. Shinji looked out the viewer.

"What the hell?"

While the command center debated what to do with the cowering teens, the Angel came up above him and he snagged the tentacles in Unit-01's purple grasp. Toji wondered why he didn't fight back.

"We're too close...he can't fight with us here!"

The entry plug spit out of the back of the Eva, and a woman's voice came over a loudspeaker. "Get inside you idiots, then Shinji can retreat!"

They climbed up and into the plug "What? Water?"

Misato ordered Shinji to retreat after he managed to throw the Angel down the hillside, fighting was out of the question with all the neural noise form the other two. But all he did was mumble to himself.

"Don't run away, don't run away, don't run away..."

The timer ran down, as the umbilical cord had been severed long ago. One minute. Shinji activated the Progressive Knife and sent the Eva skidding down the hill at the Angel. He screamed in inhuman rage as he barreled at the beast. In his fury he made a serious miscalculation, and the Angel impaled Unit-01 stomach with its tentacles. He only screamed louder, driving the blade at the Angel's core. In the command center, Maya counted down the seconds until Unit-01 lost all power.

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0! Unit-01 Shut down!"

Hyuga reported "Target is silent! We won!"

Misato nearly slumped to her knees "That baka..."

*~~~Three days later, Tokyo-3 High School~~~*

"Three days..."

"Since we got majorly chewed out? Even Hikari was ready to hit you."

"Three days since the new kid vanished."

"Maybe you should have apologized then and there."

"They didn't really give us a chance. Those guys in suits dragged us off and debriefed us, remember?"

"Oh right..." Aida dug around in his backpack and wrote something down "Here's his phone number...call him if you're so worried."

Minutes later, in the lobby Toji was losing a staring contest with a payphone. He dialed half the number...and hung up again. The boy sighed and went back to class. _Over the phone just won't do it..._

*~~~_END Episode 03_~~~*

*~~~_Episode 04- Shocking, positively shocking._~~~*

*~~~Katsuragi/Ikari Residence~~~*

Shinji lay staring at a somewhat more familiar ceiling, remembering the last battle. He felt good that he was able to protect them...but then Misato hadn't been allowed to not chew him out for not following orders. He rolled over and saw his SDAT lying on the desk, next to it was the box that had arrived from his uncle. There was a Playstation 4 in it, his uncle had dug it out of the garage and shipped it to him. Misato was off at work, so Shinji decided he'd hook it up. Sometime later he was busy playing an older game from not long after Second Impact, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. He got as far as thwarting the Angel assassin before the doorbell rang. He opened it to find Tokyo-3's answer to Bill and Ted, Kensuke and Toji.

"Ummm, hi...what can I do for you two?"

Toji gulped "I came to...apologize."

"For what?"

"For beating you up!"

Shinji blinked "Oh that...it's no big deal..."

Toji shook his head "You're wrong! I won't be satisfied unless you hit me!"

"You want me to hit you?"

Kensuke pushed up his glasses and smirked "His sister totally chewed him out...why not just hit him and get it over with."

Shinji shrugged and stared at Toji, who had steeled himself for a blow. Shinji cracked his knuckles, and stretched his arm a bit. Finally he wound up and punched Toji square across the jaw. The larger boy's head whipped around and he spat onto the ground. Rubbing his jaw, he smirked at Shinji.

"You pack a bigger punch than I thought...I guess I'll see you later..."

They started to turn and go, but Shinji stepped forward "Wait...you guys...wanna play some video games?"

Their heads whipped around in unison "Hell yeah!" and they plowed past him into the apartment and hijacked the PS4.

*~~~Chamber of the Super Bastard~~~*

Gendo Ikari adjusted his glasses, wondering why the theme to Shaft was stuck in his head "Captain Katsuragi, you have read the file provided on the Third Child?"

Misato avoided eye contact, choosing to stare at the wall just above the man's head "Yes."

"Then you are aware of his state prior to arriving in Tokyo-3?"

"Yes."

"You have also received the orders regarding the agenda correct?"

"If by that you mean the orders regarding how Shinji is to be treated, then yes."

"Then deliver your report on the current state of the Third Child."

"Sir, the Shinji I know is somewhat wittier and has more of a sense of humor than the previous reports indicated. However, I have worries that he has difficulties making friends and interacting on a social level. Especially since the last battle, he's refused to leave his room, and I think he might run away. I'm no psychologist, but I almost think he's afraid of people. Well...more like afraid of getting close."

"Understood. What efforts are you going to make to rectify this situation?"

"I'm...not sure. As I stated, I'm no psychologist, so I may just seek a professional's advice."

"Captain, remember that the Third must not be aware of any manipulations."

"I know, I didn't mean send Shinji to a shrink, I meant to talk to one myself and apply the advice indirectly."

"I see. You are dismissed Katsuragi, I expect weekly status reports, and immediate notification of any major changes."

"Yes sir"

"And tell Rei she can come in."

The Captain stepped out and was replaced by the young blue-haired girl, now free of bandages. "What is it, Commander?"

"Rei, you are aware of the Third Child?"

"Vaguely. I remember him helping me before entering Unit-01 to fight the Third Angel. I also notified him of the approach of the Fourth Angel. That has been the extent of my contact with Ikari."

"Understood. I am told you will be returning to school?"

"Hai."

"The Third Child is in your class. I know this will difficult for you Rei, but I ask you to try and befriend him."

"Why?"

"It will advance MY agenda. You must do it so that he does not suspect anything. If he gets a hint of my involvement he may shut himself out from you, that is unacceptable."

"Is this an order, or a request?"

"It is a request Rei, if you do not want to talk to the Third, you do not have to."

"I will speak with him. I have been curious about his actions towards me."

"Very well Rei, dismissed."

The girl stepped out. Gendo assumed his Pose, and chuckled slightly. _ SEELE, you are all fools...especially you, Chairman Keel..._

*~~~SEELE Chambers~~~*

Monolith 01 appeared and spoke. "All is proceeding as planned."

03- The Third and Fourth have been slain, as is told in the scrolls.

05- The Fifth will come soon, it too must be slain.

06- Only when Third Impact is...

01- Silence fool! Even though everyone knows what we wanted we have to act like they don't!

06- Oh crap, I forgot that part!

02- Honestly 06, did you skip that memory upgrade again?

06- Quiet you!

03- Well...all the budgets are set, instrumentality is on schedule...what now?

04- We could play some Taboo!

05- Oooh Taboo! I'll go first...let's see...detestable...vexing...cursed...

07- The blind fools in the industries!

08- Mexico!

05- Bilious...repugnant...vile

02- HA! You said Vile!

05- DAMMIT!

04- What was that one?

05- Toxic Waste

*~~~Chamber of the Super Bastard~~~*

Gendo watched SEELE bicker and play games. "I pay 42,000 yen a month for this?"

*~~~Streets of Tokyo-3~~~*

Small blue lights went off along the roads connecting a certain Geofront gate to a certain apartment complex. The driver of a blue sports car never saw them except in blurs. She didn't even know that they warned everyone that she was coming. And she'd laugh if she did find out. However, Misato Katsuragi was talking to herself, and driving even more dangerously than usual.

"What the hell is with the Commander? He wants nothing to do with his son in person, but demands constant reports on his well being...if he abandoned him why would he care now. Must be for his own selfish reasons. *sigh* And what's with all the psychobabble? It's like I have to be his commanding officer...therapist...MOTHER...God I do not get paid enough for this!"

At a speed of approximately R12 [A/N- See the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 34, for a discussion on velocity measurements in R base] the sports car spun into an extra wide parking spot. Getting out she saw the light on in her living room. _Well, at least he left his room..._

*~~~Katsuragi/Ikari Residence~~~*

The three boys failed to notice the slight tremor as the Captain's jaw hit the ground at the sight of Shinji socializing. Well, not just socializing, but apparently beating the tar out the two in some sort of arcade style flight game.

"Shinji!"

The boy gulped and tuned "Oh! Misato-san! You're home early!"

"You...have friends over...are you okay?"

"I'm fine...Toji and Kensuke just came over to apologize and I invited them in...gomen."

A giant smile grew on Misato's face, matching the ones on the stooges for being in the presence of such a babe "It's no big deal Shinji! I was beginning to worry about you! I'm gonna take a shower, why don't you order some take out for everyone?"

"Ahh...sure thing Misato."

Hearts swam through the eyes of the stooges. Kensuke hissed "Sssssshinji!"

"Errr, what?"

Toji roared, just under a volume that could be heard in the shower "You never told us you lived with that righteous babe!"

"Yeah man, that's almost as good as living with your very own catgirl!"

Shinji shook his head as a cat-eared Misato danced before his mind's eye "Catgirl? what have you...ugh never mind. It's not that big a deal...she volunteered!"

Toji shook his head "Dude, you sooooo don't get it!"

"It's not like she's attracted to me or anything! She's gotta be at least twice my age!"

Kensuke put his hand to his forehead "You have any idea how many guys would kill to be living with an 'older woman'?"

"Ummm...how many"

"ALL OF THEM BAKA!"

Shinji chose to give up that battle, and asked them what they wanted to eat, and ordered a load of Chinese food. It came about twenty minutes later, just as Misato entered the kitchen...dressed like it was morning. This caused nosebleeds to erupt from the stooges and roll of the eyes from the young Ikari. They dug in and about an hour later, they waved the other two home. Misato cracked a beer (her fifth of the evening) and relaxed on the couch.

"Well, they don't seem so bad do they?"

"I guess not..."

She smirked "Ah, cheer up Shinji! You made some friends!"

He smiled a little "Yeah...I did didn't I?"

"Yep. I guess I was worried for nothing."

"Huh?"

"You were in your room for three days! I was worried you would run off!"

"Oh! Gomen! I was...sleeping..."

"SLEEPING? You're worse than me!"

"Hey that's not fair! You don't have to pilot Eva!"

Her left eyebrow rose "Oh? Is that why?"

"I think it has something to do with it, I was really tired, but just mentally...maybe because I had to think around those two?"

"Mmmm, maybe, I'll ask Ritsuko about it later...but in the meantime you ought to get some NORMAL sleep, I'm throwing you back into school tomorrow!"

"Ugh...I'm just glad I get breaks for Eva..."

Shinji found his face trapped between the Captain's breasts. She had trapped him in a Katsuragi-Brand bear hug. The effect wasn't lost on the young boy. _Maybe Toji was right..._

"I'm really proud of you Shinji...I wish we didn't have to force you into the Eva...I really do...but there's no other way..."

Was she crying? Shinji could swear she was crying. He broke out of her hug gently.

"Thanks Misato...I'll try not to worry you too much...you don't need the stress."

She winked at him "You're such a sweet boy...you'll probably have a girlfriend within a week!"

He scratched the back of his head "Ahh...I think I'll be going to bed now." And he ran off and closed his door.

Misato rubbed a tear from her cheek "Hm? Did I touch a nerve? I guess I can ask him later...I can't believe I started crying...that's not like me at all..."

She sighed and went to bed "Ah well...at least there's something of a backbone in there...he didn't melt when I hugged him...heh, heh, heh"

her door slammed, followed by chuckles and beer cans opening.

*~~~_END Episode 4_~~~*

*~~~Double Agenda Omake 03~~~*

Shinji, Kensuke and Toji were sucked into their three-way "Robotech: Into the Storm" match when Misato slid the door open. Her ears perked up and she could only say one thing at the sight.

"Miao!"

All three of them turned to look, thinking a cat had gotten in. They saw the purple haired major with cat ears poking from her hair and promptly fainted from massive nasal blood loss. Misato laughed and took the ears off.

"I'll have to thank Hyuga for that idea..."

*~~~Omake 03, END!~~~*

Wait, a new feature today! Oh my Goddess, look out, it's coming right for us!

3...

2...

1...

KA-BOOM!

*~~~Naze Nani Double Agenda!~~~*

A wooden fence with Usagi Misato and Nice Lady Rei flickers into existence.

Misato: Hello everybody! And welcome to the very first Naze Nani Double Agenda!

Rei: Why are we doing this again Captain?

Misato: Because the author watches too much Nadesico!

Rei: I see. We are here today to explain some of the secrets of this story, Double Agenda.

Misato: Like, why is it called Double Agenda and not something else?

Rei: Didn't you see the Episode 00 Captain? It appears Commander Ikari is not happy with what SEELE wants.

Misato: Is anyone?

Rei: SEELE is.

Misato: Oh I see...then why was SEELE playing Taboo?

Rei: The author was ripping off the flash movie 'Shadow Government Puppet Show' which ripped off a lot of things, but mainly the Gazel Ministry of the pre-Second Impact video game Xenogears.

Misato: Rei, what are you talking about?

Rei (narrows her eyes): I am answering the question you asked Captain.

Misato (rubbing the back of her head and laughing): Oh right...hey Rei, do you know what the Commander's other Agenda is?

Rei: Yes.

Misato: Can you tell us?

Rei: No.

Misato (pouting): Why not?

Rei: Because the author isn't sure what it is yet.

Misato (blinks a few times): That doesn't make sense.

Rei: Remember what series we come from.

Misato: Oh right! hah, one final thing before we sign off for today, Rei, please read off the list.

Rei: Hai, this is the list of possible pairing for this story- Shinji/Asuka, Shinji/Maya, Shinji/Misato, Toji/Hikari, Toji/Kensu...

Misato (doubled over in laughter): Hahaha! I can't believe you read that far! Don't worry everyone, that last one IS a joke!

Rei: They seem right for each other...

At that moment the possessed Unit-03 crashes it's foot onto the stage, with an enraged Toji booming from the loud speakers.

Toji: NO WE DON'T I'M NOT INTO THAT CRAP!

Unit-03 picked up the two females King-Kong style and carried them off.

*~~~End Naze Nani Double Agenda~~~*

Yes. I am a whore. This is what happens when you mix me, Nadesico, and boredom. COWER YOU FOOLISH MORTALS...but not until after you review. ^_^


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